Tips on Building a Healthy Relationship

Trust, understanding, and especially commitment are just a few keys to have a good and healthy relationship with someone. By having to maintain these factors in your relationship, you can support and encourage your other half. The feeling of security will influence both a person’s mental and physical health, leading to having a much happier and comfortable life. However, preserving this state of the relationship can be challenging due to certain situations in life. People can’t deny that life can be tough, leading them to be increasingly strained. Because of this, their relationship with other people is regulated through tension.

The story of Wallis Goginski, a character from Table of Hearts, a novel by a Gerald James Avila is one example. In the story, Goginski follows the footsteps of his forebears by managing a long-running business; he gets involved in an intimate relationship. This romance made him cynical about pursuing a career in managing a business. The narrative of this book encapsulates the whole battle of a person can encounter in the life of having to commit to a relationship.

All extraordinary love stories are bonded into one thing, commitment. It invokes a powerful feeling of intent and focus. A relationship can have a certainty where both parties know what to expect from each other. This article will discuss ways on how to overcome these situations. Below is a list of tips on how you can have a healthy relationship with someone.

Good Communication

You’ve heard it before, and it is true. Two-way communication is always the answer to any relationship. The sharing of ideas and feelings with each other is a way to make things work for each party. Imagine not being comfortable expressing how you feel about something; then you probably should work on that. Through communication, both of you can figure out and work on a problem you might be facing. Once you have already shared positive and negative emotional connections, you will feel safe and full contentment. One of the ways you can maintain this connection is by being an excellent listener to each one. Be engaged in what the other person is saying. Listening does not have to mean that you should agree to everything. You just have to find common points.

Independent Growth

Even though you are both in a relationship with each other, it is still vital to have independence. You don’t just want to grow together. You also want to grow independently as people. Each person in this world has their own goals in life. Being committed to your relationship should not stop both of you to achieve these goals. Giving up independence will make a person give up things that make them happy. It is usual for two people in love to be inseparable, especially if you’ve just started to. But then, you need to understand that you have to maintain your own passion by doing things on your own.

Nurtured Appreciation

Letting your partner feel admired and showing that they are loved is a way to show your full support. As mentioned, your supports towards that person is one of the important keys to a healthy relationship. So how do you show appreciation? One efficient method you can do is by telling them that you are proud of whatever they are doing in life. This way, they will feel like you are paying attention to what you

Developed Trust

If you have confidence in someone, you will feel physically and emotionally safe with them. It is something that most people find difficult to have for a myriad of reasons. Why do people have trust issues? It occurs when a significant experience happened in the past. It can be in the form of betrayal. Sometimes, these people will likely have unrealistic and unclear expectations towards someone, leading to broken trust. To get over it, you need to be open and honest about what you have been through. It will also help if you ask closure from the past if it is still possible.

In conclusion, being in a healthy relationship can really boost one’s happiness and can even reduce stress. Hopefully, you got some insights from this blog. If you want to know stories about relationships, you will definitely enjoy Gerald James Avila’s novel, Table of Hearts. This is a story that will teach you a lot of lessons on managing a relationship. Enjoy!

Ways to Cope with Grief and Loss

Losing a loved one is a difficult thing to go through. The process of grieving that comes after the loss of a loved one is particularly not an easy road. It can affect people in many different ways. Home for Good by Gerald Avila is a novel that particularly talks about the reality of grief and loss. Its story revolves around the character of Jeff Williams, a well-known writer who recently lost his beloved wife to cancer. After losing his wife, Jeff Williams spiraled into emotional and mental turmoil, which eventually affected his writing. But with the help of other people like his close friend Alice and a therapist named Dr. Joan Steele, Jeff Williams was able to overcome his pain. In the real life, there are plenty of effective ways to cope with grief and loss.

Acknowledge your pain

Acknowledgement is the first thing that you need to do to cope with grief and loss. Oftentimes, many people find it difficult to deal with the pain caused by the loss of their loved ones because they refuse to acknowledge the fact that such pain exists to begin with. This is unhealthy, of course. Denial may help you forget about the pain for a while, but in the long run, the suppressed memories of your loss will only come haunting you. Because of this, it is important for you to acknowledge your pain as much as possible. Recognize the fact that you are hurting. In essence, you cannot achieve healing and acceptance unless you admit that you need to.

Express and release your emotions

After acknowledging the fact that you are hurting, the next thing that you need to do is to express and release your emotions no matter how unsettling they are. Sometimes, people, who are in the process of grieving over the loss of their loved ones, choose to remain silent about their pain because they do not want to seem vulnerable to others. When you lose someone you dearly love, vulnerability is really inevitable, but there is nothing wrong with it. Being emotional and vulnerable, especially during difficult times, does not mean that you are weak. It is part of human nature. In order for you to cope with grief and loss, you must allow yourself to be vulnerable. Talk about your feelings, and cry whenever you feel like you need to.

Seek help from other people

Grief is such a painful process. Sometimes, your feelings and pain can become overwhelming enough to affect you and your life. When this occurs, it is important that you seek the help of other people. You do not have to be alone with your feelings and pain. There will always be other people who are willing to help you cope with your grief and loss. Reach out to your family members or friends. If you feel like you need to, you can even ask for help from a professional, such as a psychiatrist or a therapist. This is what the character of Jeff Williams from Home for Good did during his grief process – he sought the assistance of Dr. Joan Steele who helped him carefully move past turmoil.

Take care of yourself

This is perhaps the most important thing that you need to do when you are dealing with grief over the loss of a loved one – you need to take care of yourself. Generally, the process of grieving is emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausting. It can take a toll on your overall health. Because of this, it is necessary for you to take good care of yourself. Do not allow yourself to be overpowered by your pain. Eat well, have enough rest, and do things that can minimize your pain in a healthy way. Losing a loved one may be life-changing, but such change does not have to be negative.

Overall, coping with grief and loss may not be easy, but it is necessary. Grief and loss are natural parts of life. They will occur to everyone, including you, whether you like or not. Stories like that of Jeff Williams from Home for Good by Gerald Avila can help you realize the painful reality of grieving over the loss of a loved one. But at the same time, these kinds of stories assure you that no matter how difficult the process is, you can always overcome your pain if you just put your mind into it. Hopefully, the things mentioned in this article will help you cope with whatever it is that you are feeling right now.

The Keys to Writing a Tear-Jerker

Have you ever read a Nicholas Sparks novel? Are you a fan of books that can bawl your eyes out with their stories? Do you ever dreaming of writing your own tear-jerker someday? If yes, then you are on the right page! Sad and heartwarming novels have always been popular among the reading public. Both teens and adults love to read stories that can touch their hearts and make their eyes swollen after crying.

For many authors, the ability to make their readers touched and cry with their stories is a measurement of quality writing. Writing tear-jerkers is not easy, of course. In order for a story to make the readers shed a tear, it has to be good and authentic. Table of Hearts by Gerald James Avila is an example of a novel that knows precisely how to do this. It is a heart-wrenching story of a family’s saga and their traditional values, as they move through the generations. It primarily revolves around the character of Wallis Goginski and his choices in life. Overall, Table of Hearts is a very moving tale of love, personal choices, and family journey that will surely make you laugh a little and cry a bit more.

Taking an inspiration from Gerald James Avila’s Table of Hearts and all the other great literary works in the genre, here are some of the keys to writing a tear-jerker that you must keep in mind to help you become the next best-selling author.

Choose a story that hits close to home

Oftentimes, people cry over a story because they can relate to it. In general, relatability is an important component of a story. If a story is relatable enough, it can easily stir various emotions among the readers. So, if you want your readers to bawl their eyes out while reading your book, then you need to come up with a relatable story as much as possible. Choose a storyline that hits close to home. It should be something that many people have experienced or are experiencing in real life. Themes such as family, friendship, love, and grief are common but very affecting themes that you can use in your story. When you write about something that simple hits close to home, it will be easier for your story to leave a lasting emotional impact on the readers.

Build your story little by little

After choosing the best story that you think can warm the hearts of the readers, the next important thing that you need to do is to build your story little by little. The pacing of your story and the manner of your storytelling are also important components that you must look into when writing a heart-wrenching book. Your story should not be fast-paced. It should leave spaces for the readers to develop their emotions gradually. More so, your manner of storytelling should be unhurried but straightforward. Do not be too quick and direct in unfolding your story, but do not beat around the bush as well. In other words, find the perfect balance.

Create characters in whom the readers will be invested

Characters are the most important component of almost every story. These characters serve as the driving force that moves the story forward. More so, they are often the main reason why people choose to read a certain book. More often than not, the readers become invested in a story only when they like the characters in it. They can either see themselves in these characters or these characters inspire them to become something else. Regardless of the reason, the main point is that your characters play a crucial role in determining whether or not your book can be an effective tear-jerker. To make sure that your story can leave an emotional impact on many people, you should create your characters in such a way that they can easily captivate the attention and emotions of the readers.

In conclusion, to write an absolute tear-jerker, you need to pay close attention to the story that you choose, the way you develop your chosen story, and the way you present your characters to the readers. Indeed, writing a story that can make the readers cry is not easy. It takes a really good story and some literary skills for an author to be able to make the readers bawl their eyes out. Nonetheless, you have the ability to learn the art of writing tear-jerkers in time. With enough practice and dedication, you can certainly write your own heart-wrenching novel just like Gerald James Avila’s Table of Hearts someday.

 A bark sounded from Jackie the Yorkie, giving attention the school bus was coming. His buddies, Bobby, the Shih Tzu and Hustler, a Russel Terrier, were quick to respond with their barks as well, creating a real annoyance to the neighborhood.

When the bus got near the kids the brakes squealed causing the boys and their canines to take a step backward. The doors swung open giving the boys a quick access. Their friends on the bus gave a shout of hello.

Bobby, the Shih Tzu, turned and gave a disgusted look to his pals. “Our masters didn’t even give us a pat on our heads. A pinch on the chin would have been nice, or even a goodbye word could have eased the snub,” declared Jackie.

The three sat on the sidewalk coping with separation anxiety. In a couple of minutes they shook their coats off sending hair and dust into the air. Now it was time to plan their day.

The three looked up and down the cul-de-sac studying the area for the greatest relief of anxiety. It was a no-brain-er; the vacant lot at the end with piles of brush, stacks of discarded lumber from the building boom , but most of all, it had gopher holes.

The Yorkie, Jackie, separated his lips to show Hammer across the street his canine teeth as if to say “don’t make me go over there.” He definitely had little dog syndrome. The three stood to go.

Hammer, a Great Dane, squeaked his nose through the gap in the picket fence trying to get the best glimpse of the three. He so much wanted to be their friend, but his size and weight gave the three an inferiority complex.

A few weeks ago the three crossed the street to aggravate Hammer. He found his opportunity to become friends. He dropped down against the fence so they could give the sniff test. The three smelled through the cracks, but decided they were not going to accept him and walked away.

Hammer was so upset. He felt like a traitor to the dog world because of his size. The three often discussed how stupid he was to stay in the back yard when just a slight leap would send him over the fence to freedom.

Hammer left the fence and walked to the back patio and sulked about his failures. The three headed for the vacant lot to do a lot of escavating.

After an hour of pure joy digging their wild kingdom performance, they came up empty. But hey, some of the greatest hunters in the canine world had the same problem on T.V., they thought as they lay sprawled on the mounds of small dog digging piles.

Their dog senses told them Mrs. Williams failed to call them to have dog treats of cookies and milk. They have worked a great deal and now it was time to get their reward, but no call. This was not setting well with the three and by golly they wanted payment and headed over to her front gate.

The three sat at the gate giving an occasional bark. But nothing happened. The Russel Terrier’s patience ran thin and started the barking of a distressed dog. Soon the other two began to shout, also.

Hammer heard the distressed call and awoke from his dis-paring sleep. He sensed trouble and came around the house to his gate. He saw his neighbors barking their fool heads off. At first he thought to just go back to sleep, but then he decided this would be a chance to show these little in-greats how cleaver he is at opening gates.

He opened his gate and took strides across the street that only these three could dream about. The three were so busy barking into a tantrum they didn’t notice him until he brushed by to the gate. They looked up his legs, then onto his withers, then up to the head. Their necks were straining to maintaining the upward kink. He reached his head over the fence to unleash it. That was simple for him. He went to the front door and attempted to turn the door knob, but it wouldn’t turn.

He was not to be detoured, he went to the side of the house, with the three following, to the other door. His determination was simple, he would attempt to turn the knob, if that didn’t work he would chew the door knob off. It turned and the door opened. He rushed in smelling smoke. As he walked farther the smoke was bellowing to the point of zero visibility. The three waited at the door.

The smoke alarms were all sounding in the house putting fear into the three. Now the fire truck was arriving causing more panic. Hammer was oblivious to any distraction except finding Mrs. William. When he did he dropped down to see her better. He grabbed her on the collar and began to slide her across the floor to the exit. The three gave their minuscule tug to do their part to finish the rescue.

Mrs. Williams was being dragged half way out the door when the firemen got to her and hurriedly chased the dogs away to give her oxygen bringing her back to life.

One fireman noticed teeth marks that had ripped her collar and apron. “Hey Harry, I think this big dog pulled the old lady to safety.”

Mrs. Williams grabbed the fireman’s arm. “Are you saying Hammer pulled me out of the house?”

“It sure looks that way lady…what happened to you?”

“I was baking cookies, I bent down to check if they were ready and my head hit the corner of the stove. That’s all I remember.”

“Well lady, the way I see it that huge dog is the only one who could have pulled you. It certainly couldn’t be those three runts over there.” The three looked at each other realizing that didn’t sound like praise to them.

The Great Dane sat by the fireman making sure she was all right then left for home.

The next morning the three kids and three dogs came out of their respective houses to wait for the bus. The bus came and went leaving the three(sort of heroes)canines standing facing the street.

There he was, Hammer, starring through the crack in the fence eyeing the three. Bobby, the Shih Tzu, headed across the street with the other two following. They began to bark at Hammer to come out and play.

It didn’t take much coaching and Hammer opened his gate and preceded to join them. Of course there would be the pecking order to follow. Bobby, the Shih Tzu would be first, second would be Hustle, the terrier, Jackie, the Yorkie and then Hammer. Hammer was thrilled to be dog number four in search of fun with the others.

From that day on the four became good friends. The four learned to be good dogs.

 Year 1957 ! At 15 years old my English teacher gave a class assignment for us to write a three to five hundred word essay on our most interesting social event in the last month. I wrote about my first date a few weeks earlier with a great girl. I was fine with the teacher reading it and giving a grade, but when she asked me to read it in front of the class I refused. She blew her stack with the threat of flunking me. She didn’t, but she kept a glaring look when we saw each other down town. That summer I was sitting in the bleachers watching a varsity baseball game. My friends were joking with me until she came up and sat behind me. We all knew her contempt for me so we were preparing to leave when she put her hand on my shoulder gaining my attention. My friends left,  She said, “listen Jerry, the day is going to come when you will have to write because you trap all your emotions in your head and the only way to bring them out is by writing. I’ll  look forward reading your stories, I can also say you will regret ripping off your essay.” She died six months before my first book was published.

 Years 1960 to 1965!  At 18 years I wrote my first fun piece about, what now are we going to do?

The Fear of Commitment. Our time had finally come to graduate from high school. We were the class of 1960. The four of us, Billy, Phil, Tommy, and me, Jerry realized our school had a social disorder of epidemic proportions, and were not going to have any part of this life-threatening disease, so our individual battle plans had to be drawn.

Some would say an epidemic like we were witnessing was not contagious, but I beg to differ with anyone. Our class of 88 students had more than eleven percent suffering from marriage fever and pregnancy ramifications.

The following weekend, after graduation,the four of us met at the city swimming pool to discuss our life’s vulnerabilities. We all sat on my cars hood to get a better view of any Miss America wannabes sunning around the pool. This would surely clear our thinking.

Umbrellas obstructed most of the girls nearest the chain link fence, just five feet from my front bumper. This was good because we had serious business to contend with.

Billy was quick to admit that him going to San Francisco State in the fall would keep him fixed from the sickness of matrimony. We nodded our heads in agreement. Phil acknowledged he was leaving at summer’s end to join the Army. His plan left us with some what trepidation. It’s like getting out of one frying pan and into another.

Tommy huffed, “I’m sold in my wants and not woman is going to corral me.” Tommy was right, he was one tough cookie. I began to smile when it was my turn to thrust my plan. Billy couldn’t resist, “Here comes some crazy idea from Jerry”

Again a smile protruded, “My plan is simple. I am not going to take any girl out more than twice, and my goal is to date a hundred different girls before I turn twenty-five. After that I may be a confirmed bachelor.” The guys were cheering my idea when suddenly the umbrellas were pushed aside surprising the hell out of us.

“Why do you even think five girls would go with you let alone marry you?” Sharon suggesting sarcastically. I looked at her in disbelief, “You heard everything I said? How awful is that?” A woman sat up next to the girls, “I think Jerry is absolutely right. We should not be listening in on their game plan for the future, plus I think it will work.”

Hearing her use my name was such a rush. This woman made me feel higher than the Russian Sputnik. The four of us were speechless that this beautiful women would even speak to us. Talk about marrying her in a heart beat was quite obvious to all of us.

This all women gave a smile and lay back down to sun her midriff area and other parts of her anatomy facing into the heavens. We felt paralyzed, maybe for life. I blinked and came alive, whispering to the guys, “If we all think in unison, our power of thought will pop those strings holding her bikini top.” Phil was on board to the suggestion and started to pray with a stare.

We squinted our brains in the hopes that telepathy will pop those strings holding her most prized possessions. After near bursting of our brains, our prayers were not answered. Phil was still murmuring “Amen’s” repeatedly until Tommy grabbed his arm to save his life.

We left the pool area in a sexual frustrated mood, but just think if our little mind trick would have produced a different outcome. Our minds would have had memories that would last a life time.

 It was probably going to be our last gathering for awhile. We all left with our game plans in check. I started summer college and my plan remaining unmarried until twenty-five was weakening. The girl I dated in high school was now back in my life, and she was pushing me in the direction of the social disorder that I feared.

Just short of my twentieth birthday I was accepted to Los Angeles Art Center to become one of the big three car manufacturers designers. With my move down to southern California she knew I was not ready to commit to each other. That ended our relationship so now my plan was back in gear. I lived true to my word that I was not going to date any girl more than twice. Now you’d think most girls would think that was arrogant and wouldn’t even go out on a single date, but the opposite was true. It was like they were given a challenge and it was they who were going to break my rule.

With nearly a year of this experiment the calls coming in were phasing up from girls to women. Some were even married (without my knowledge) because word had spread they were going to take me down. My black book had grown to sixty plus girls and women.

While at Art Center I received a draft notice that I had two weeks to prepare for army duty. My life felt like it was over. I would later be told that if I was married no draft would have been rendered. Now how ironic is that?

The next six months were filled with physical training and school. I was assigned a permanent base in Tobyhanna, Pa., which is known as the honeymoon capital of the U.S. Much to my pleasant surprised some three hundred girls with only one hundred fifty guys were stationed at the depot. Talk about my plan getting energized once again.

I enrolled at the University of Scranton to get some college credits, and of course meet more girls.

Carpooling in a short bus with four officers and me being an E-3 which meant almost status of dirt. The trip to school was almost like I didn’t exist.

During the day I was repairing Teletype at the depot and attending school at night. My weekends were what kept me alive, dating girls until at lunch time in the gigantic cafeteria a girl named Cindy came to my table an grabbed my hand that was ready to stuff a giant ham sandwich with a first bite.

“Did you ask Charlotte in shipping to go out?” I didn’t know how to handle the outburst, so I told her the truth. “You and I went out twice and that’s the maximum amount I can go out with you.” I knew the very second I said that and heard all the guys cheer, I was dead in the water. She stuck the ham sandwich in my face missing most of my mouth.

I recovered and went on with my selfish life. With Christmas nearing my school buddies came to me while I was on K.P. The Major asked if I wanted to go to an orphanage with them to night. I smiled and said I was on K.P., and sorry I couldn’t. The Major smiled back, your Sarge said it would be okay, you just have to come in earlier in the morning by one hour. That meant three a.m.

With reluctance I went. The orphanage had over a thousand kids and I swear they were all yelling at the same time. The officers went out on the basketball court to play with the big kids. The little five and six year old wanted no part of the big kids.

Mother Superior came over to me and asked if I wanted to entertain the small kids. It was fine with me. For some reason they took to me and I took to them. I went five more trips after Christmas.

My little group of a few kids grew to twenty-five. It was amazing because all we did was talk about our selves.

My last trip was in March and I had to tell the kids I was not coming back. I explained that I was shipping out. That didn’t register. The kids followed me to gym doors where Mother Superior ordered them to stop. The nuns closed the doors to the cry’s of kids not understanding what was happening.

On the way back to the barracks, the officers had plenty to say, even to me. I listened as they talked about how unfortunate it was that I was going to Vietnam, but when they began discussing how it would’ve been better if those poor orphan kids were never born. I was not to be silent any longer, officer or no officers.

“We should be here to help grow these little minds and hearts, but not to decide their fate.”

I thought twenty-five years of age was the magic time to consider marriage and children, but I was wrong. It is not a certain year of life, it’s about being mature enough to see how wonderful a wife and family can be.

Two weeks after leaving that orphanage, I became an orphan. On March 24, 1965 my parents were both killed in a car accident. I was 22 years old.